A Lonely Christmas
by loverofmuggles
Summary: Remus spends his first Christmas alone since meeting his mates in his first year.


**"** ** **A Lonely Christmas"****

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Disclaimer- I am not J.K Rowling. I am just playing with her wonderful characters who still hold my heart. What a nerd I am—in the future people will say, you are such a Potter Head, instead of you are such a Trekkie!

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Author Note- This is just a short one shot in order to get my creative juices flowing again. Enjoy!..and if you are feeling kind drop a review!

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 _In Loving Memory_

 _James Potter_

 _27 March 1960- October 31st 1981_

 _Lily Potter_

 _30 January 1960-October 31st 1981_

' _The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.'_

Remus Lupin ran his fingers, clumsy from the cold which bit through his cheap muggle gloves over the engraving. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, turning cold in the biting wind. Drawing his knees to his chest he turned leaning his shoulder and head against the side of the cold stone of the grave. He pulled his cloak tighter around his body knowing it was a poor substitute for a warm bed. With his wand he cast a warming charm, which would keep the worse of the chill off at lease. He doubted that James or Lily would mind him staying here tonight. They had often opened their home when they heard he was out of work or out of a place to dwell again.

In the distance he could see the glittering lights of the towns Christmas tree. Faintly he could hear the sounds of carols being sung within the warm walls of the old Church. Snow came lazily from the sky adding to the piles of it already scattered on the ground. Those dreaming of a white Christmas were going to have it, in plenty.

Growing up Remus has always wondered what it would be like to have a best friend. A best friend who would not care about his furry little problem. Who would not turn their nose up at him the moment they learned about it. It turned out there was much more heartbreak involved then he had ever dreamed.

James and Lily, dead.

Peter, foolish little Pete, blown to pieces.

All three betrayed by Sirius who now sat rotting in a cell in Azkaban.

The sound of Christmas carols seemed to grow louder. Or maybe it was the fact that the wind had died down some and was now longer snatching the words away. "...through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow…" Remus snorted making an effort to block it out. Fate was a cruel mistress, unflinching, hard and cold.

For the first time since his first year at Hogwarts, he was going to be alone for Christmas.

A chill ran through him and he pressed closer to the cold stone as if hoping to draw the warmth from the stone. Tucking his wand away again he pressed his cold hands into his armpits trying to warm them.

His mind wander to James and Lily's son spending his second Christmas without his parents. Dumbledore has been sure leaving him with Lils sister had been a wise choice. Remus was in no position to fight the point. He had no money, often times he had no home. He was alone in the world. More alone then Harry was.

Did Lils sister know that Harry loves ginger men? Or that he loved to play with toy trains making the chooochoo sound.

In his mind he painted a happy picture. Harry with his faceless Aunt and Uncle and cousin surrounded by wrapping paper. Harry was crawling about pushing around a shiny new train.

His lips twitched at that thought as he peered out at the falling snow. Some of the ache in his heart eased. All James and Lily had wanted was for this son to grow up in a world without a war. Happy and healthy and safe. They had gotten this dream, although at a high cost. Harry was health and happy. He would grow up and attend Hogwarts safe from war and death.

The Church bells began to ring, its doors opened and people began flooding out. The twinkling lights of the Christmas tree guiding them home.

The town, the Christmas tree, the falling snow it was such a picture perfect moment. You would see it painted on the front muggle cards. A slight crunching of snow had Remus going rigid against the tomb stone. His hand flew to his robe pocket and he withdrew his wand. He strained his ears listening his eyes searching through the dark snowy night. Object were illuminated by the bright Christmas trees however shadows still obscured object making them into large daunting objects. Remus took a deep breath, he doubted that the minister would be happy if he began blowing up tombstones because he had heard a noise that scared him. Again there came a crunching on the snow, did he dare risk lighting his wand for more light? He supposed not, the light of the town tree should be enough.

Remus sucked his breath in hard his eyes widening in shock. A large deer slowly picked its way across the graveyard emerging from between the tombstones. Slowly, carefully Remus leaned back against his friends grave again eyes on the doe.

Slowly the doe made its way across the snow laden ground its legs sinking deep. It paused half way across the yard. It's head turned slightly as it surveyed the man wrapped in a heavy cloak. Seeing he was no threat the doe slowly made its way passed searching the ground for a free spot in which to eat from.

Seconds, minutes, hours later the doe had gone and Remus had nothing but the falling snow and the empty graves around him. His fingers ran over the names carved in the stone again, lips pulled into a slight smile. The effort to smile made the muscles in his face achy. He wondered when the last time he had smiled was. Not since his friends had died. Maybe even not even before that.

"Happy Christmas Jamie, Lils" his voice cracked slightly on the words and he blinked hard to keep the tears from spilling over.

 _Fin_


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